Frozen Shut

For the past couple of days I have totally had a writers block. I can't think of anything to write about. I have a major paper due tomorrow and I can't even start because I don't know where to start or how to start or anything. Maybe writing random thoughts down well get the juices flowing, but maybe not.

Last week we went to California for Thanksgiving and it was a lot of fun. My poor mom just lives with boys, that can't be any fun. I really hope I have at least 1 girl because girls are just so much more helpful than boys. Joe and I went to Disneyland on Monday, Joe doesn't even like Disneyland so I'm not sure why he wanted to go but I had a good time. the lines weren't miserable and the weather was really nice. On the way home though there was of course traffic. I don't mind traffic, I mean, do I prefer it... no but my blood pressure doesn't go up if there is traffic. Joe on the other hand hates it, almost as much as he hates waiting in lines. Good thing we live in Utah were traffic doesn't happen to much, otherwise I think Joe would have a heart attack by 30.

So I have been quit stressed the last couple of weeks. If you saw me you would know because my 12 year old acne is coming back on my face and chest. I can't handle school, it's not even that bad, it's just a lot. I think I get stressed out to easily, because if I listed my work load it doesn't even sound like that much. My problem is i worry about this week and the next 2 weeks. I have plenty of time I just rather get everything done now. Along with my 12 year old acne, I have had horrible headaches everyday. I drink and drink and drink water and there still there. Joe says I don't drink enough water but considering I take a bathroom break every 15 minutes I think I'm drinking plenty.

Now with all this complaining and feeling sorry for my self I am also reading a book called "Tuesdays with Morrie"( i know court I've had it forever I'll give it back as soon as your back from New York). It's my 2nd time reading it because I think it has some really good morals to it (if that's the right word). Morrie is dieing from a disease that slowly eats away at your muscles and you slowly become a vegetable. One chapter in the book talks about feeling sorry for yourself. Morrie cries in the morning for a couple minutes and that's it then he moves on with his day. he says "I thought about all the people I knew who spent many of their waking hours feeling sorry for themselves. How useful would it be to put a daily limit on self-pity". I don't know why but I love the quote. I wish I could carry it around like a tattoo on my hand to remind myself that life isn't that bad. If I took out all the hours I felt sorry for myself, I would actually have enough time to enjoy the day and not be in a frenzy all day. I don't have a hard life at all but all my complaining makes it twice as hard. Many people don't finish or even get to go to college, I should just be happy that I can go. Joe always tells me how easy I have it, but i never listen. I mean what kind of wife would I be if I listened to EVERYTHING my husband had to say. Maybe if I smiled a couple more hours of the day instead of complained about nothing, my headaches might just go away.

Another random thought, you know how when you really have to go to the bathroom and people start talking about waterfalls and other watery things because they think that well make you pee your pants... well that totally doesn't work. I went to the doctors today and had to pee in a cup. I spent 15 minutes in the bathroom thinking about waterfalls, and drinking fountains. NOTHING and I mean nothing. I was just sitting there laughing, I mean how long do they let people try to pee in a cup? When I came out the nurse acted like that was totally normal, if I was a nurse and had someone in the bathroom for 15 minutes trying to pee I would totally be laughing. What is the time limit before you knock on the door and make sure that person is still alive?